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Aug. 24th, 2010 02:28 pmYknow I really really hate how insecure I am. One errant thought about this or that, and suddenly all I can do is sit here and mope about how no one loves me. Clearly this is not the truth, but it always FEELS true. (stupid feelings!)
I HATE THAT ABOUT MYSELF.
I hate that I have to police myself constantly, because one bad thought will wreck my day.
I hate that I seem to be wired to put a negative spin on every thought.
I don't tend to think about myself as a glass-half-empty person, but when I really look at my thoughts, I so am.
It's hard to change a lifetime of conditioning, y'see. And being sabotaged by my own brain. And feeling guilty for feeling bad when my life is not so bad as all that ... suckage, get thee behind me!
Must pull myself out of this funk tho before tonight. It's going to be an awesome night of TV ... Peter goes on the lam... and Auggie gets to kick some ass in the field ... and there is kissing! :D Hey, Ausiello called the clip "free porn" so that's good enough for me!
Someone wanna come over with popcorn?! ;0)
I HATE THAT ABOUT MYSELF.
I hate that I have to police myself constantly, because one bad thought will wreck my day.
I hate that I seem to be wired to put a negative spin on every thought.
I don't tend to think about myself as a glass-half-empty person, but when I really look at my thoughts, I so am.
It's hard to change a lifetime of conditioning, y'see. And being sabotaged by my own brain. And feeling guilty for feeling bad when my life is not so bad as all that ... suckage, get thee behind me!
Must pull myself out of this funk tho before tonight. It's going to be an awesome night of TV ... Peter goes on the lam... and Auggie gets to kick some ass in the field ... and there is kissing! :D Hey, Ausiello called the clip "free porn" so that's good enough for me!
Someone wanna come over with popcorn?! ;0)
