(no subject)

[bluecastle]

Yknow I really really hate how insecure I am. One errant thought about this or that, and suddenly all I can do is sit here and mope about how no one loves me. Clearly this is not the truth, but it always FEELS true. (stupid feelings!)

I HATE THAT ABOUT MYSELF.

I hate that I have to police myself constantly, because one bad thought will wreck my day.
I hate that I seem to be wired to put a negative spin on every thought.

I don't tend to think about myself as a glass-half-empty person, but when I really look at my thoughts, I so am.

It's hard to change a lifetime of conditioning, y'see. And being sabotaged by my own brain. And feeling guilty for feeling bad when my life is not so bad as all that ... suckage, get thee behind me!

Must pull myself out of this funk tho before tonight. It's going to be an awesome night of TV ... Peter goes on the lam... and Auggie gets to kick some ass in the field ... and there is kissing! :D Hey, Ausiello called the clip "free porn" so that's good enough for me!

Someone wanna come over with popcorn?! ;0)

Comments

[alba17.livejournal.com]

Oh. I'm exactly the same way! Sometimes LJ is very difficult in that respect. I tend to assume everyone thinks I'm an idiot, unless there's specific evidence to the contrary.*sigh*

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

Well I never think you're an idiot. But I know what you mean. My default is something like "oh, now they're rolling their eyes and saying 'oh god, there she goes whining again' ...

HUGS all around!! It's hard being a human bean.

[alba17.livejournal.com]

Haha, exactly! *hugs* to you to! We'll wallow in insecurity and negativity together. Personally, I blame my mother, haha.

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

Far from it, Alba. You're awesome.

[alba17.livejournal.com]

&hearts&hearts

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

*hugs* and OF COURSE I wanna come over with popcorn but I have to time-shift tonight and won't get to watch until after The Boy's bedtime.

I'm sure there will be twittering real time, though.

In the meantime get away from your desk for a minute, take a short walk, let that great scarf trail behind you.

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

I made coffee instead of taking a walk. But will trail the scarf behind me dramatically as I trudge out to the parking lot later :)

*hugs back* <3

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

Hey there, I would love to be in the same city as you. I find you lotsa fun, and interesting, and creative.

And yes, we can tweet tonight! I tweet every night. Love twitter like crazybeans.

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

you are very sweet. and kind. this means a lot. *glomps on you* <3

popcorn party on twitter! :) virtual popcorn has the advantage of no calories and those little husk things don't get stuck in your teeth :D