My Blue Castle

What with the final re-writes before posting "The Noiseless Tune..." yesterday (which in my head is still called what google docs titled it "Ianto wakes suddenly, panting") I seem to have fallen off the drabble wagon.

 

It's indicative actually, as I seem to be at the start of a depressive downswing. The signs are all there ... the urge to eat and sleep much more than usual... the complete disinterest in organizing myself... the feelings of loneliness and isolation... the urge to cry for no sensible reason.

 

I've been pushing myself to be more open and truthful and real in my writing, so I'm just putting this out there as the state of me today, lumpy emotions and all.

 

When I try to explain these feelings to people who don't get it (you either do or you don't), they always sort of get wide eyed and think they need to DO something. There's no need, really. I've been riding this current for a long time, and only had one really bad crack-up and that was years and years ago.

 

Today is just a blue day. Other days are other colors.

 

It's just time to do some self care. Buy some really good coffee ice cream. Curl up on the couch with my kitty for a nap. Find something silly to watch on my TV.

 

And wait to see what color tomorrow is.