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Have been quiet, and not wanting to write lately, so I leave you with a picture of where I was, and have been, and sort of always will be... be on the lookout for Narnian Beavers, or other magical entities. I dropped a penny into the murky depths to let the fairies know I had been there, and still remembered the place...
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Read an interesting article on the power of imagination this morning. Much to think on here:

But there are also certain compelling features of the imagination. Just as artificial sweeteners can be sweeter than sugar, unreal events can be more moving than real ones. There are three reasons for this...

Also, for a small PSA ... if the issue of Domestic Violence is of any interest, a locally produced documentary called "Telling Amy's Story" has started airing on Public Television stations across the country. I saw this about a year ago and found it really thought provoking. It was actually required viewing here at the library. I also know a good many of the actors they used in the recreated bits, which made it a bit odd for me to watch, but no less compelling...

But now, back to the sillyness. Last night's show went well. A bit low on the energy end of things as we were coming back after two days off and had lost a bit of momentum. And we kept calling characters by their wrong names. WHOOPS! Show 7 of 10 tonight, and then the BFF and I are going out for midnight pancakes. I love me some pancakes!! He was in such a good mood last night. Happiest people on the planet are teachers on the evening of the last day they have to see students for three months! LOL.

Off now to get some lunch. This instant mac and cheese in my bottom desk drawer isn't doing much for me today.
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It appear my mother's "disease" has a name. YAY names. BOO lack of anything much to do about said disease... which apparently manifests itself as that phase between drinking WAY too much and developing a hangover.

Meniere's Disease

I guess her Doctor isn't too worried about it. She called today to schedule the follow-up like they asked. And now they don't want to see her until JUNE 25th.

My Dad said it's the only time in their 46 years of marriage he ever saw my Mom throw up.

Anyway. She seems to be on the mend. My Dad will be only too glad to give up his position of "chief cook and bottle washer."

But he made her soup after they got back from the ER. And pancakes the next night. How cute is that?!

bluecastle: (bookmarks)
Have returned from giant book sale $5 poorer, and with rubbery arms from toting around a giant bag of books ... but I now have in the the trunk of my car, an odd assortment of books, most of which I will never read, and many of which are destined to be gutted and used for papercrafting projects. Last year's selections were more wide ranging, subject wise ... but I've not read most of them yet!

Grabbed a couple of LOLarious sci-fi books I can't wait to share with you when I have a chance to photograph them. On this last day of the sale there were mostly every Tom Clancy novel ever published, a healthy selection of VC Andrews titles, lovely impractical 1950s cookbooks, and very many outdated textbooks! Book dregs. I haz 'em. Will share the haul when I have a chance to paw through them and see what all I threw into my bag.

Rehearsal tonight for next Tuesday's staged radio show. Already today we've lost one and then gained another pianist. It's all go around here.

Off now to screen a German film about a Ukranian hooker in a Viennese brothel... I love my job some days.
bluecastle: (Default)

art journals make even crap days better...

(spray ink, gesso, watercolor, sharpie marker, masking tape, ephemera, and heartache)

today is better, tho I still miss the feel of paint on my fingers.
bluecastle: (Default)
Yesterday sort of went down the tubes pretty quickly. Woke up with a headache, but decided it wasn't that bad, and so I went into work.

Two hours later I was taking my nauseous self home where I evicted the cat from the middle of my bed (and he looks so cute laying there with his head on the pillows) pulled on some jammies and crawled under the covers.

The good news is that I did not end up throwing up, although it was a close call a couple times.

The bad news is that when I emerged from headache fog around dinner time, I discovered the cat HAD thrown up at some point.

NO fun.

Then I ate some dinner, and launched into fun tiems with the cable co. In an effort to eventually upgrade us all to digital, they've sent digital cable boxes to those of us who still have basic cable. Or in my case, the wonderfully phrased "expanded basic." I'm not sure what the deal was, but it only took five hours and three phone calls to sort things out. But from the "third time's the charm" department, my final phone call at 11 pm finally got me able to see the picture on all the channels I'm suppose to have... and a couple I'm NOT.

So I celebrated by watching my first Top Gear episodes ever while I posted my dark_fest fic.

If you haven't read it yet, what are you waiting for? LOL. I don't have a beta to pimp it for me ... so I'll do it myself. Go back one entry and give it a look see. Pretty please. :) I'd like to believe it's better than I think it is. I think I'm just too close to it to be able to tell.

Back at work today, and the headache is still looming a bit. And I'm behind on everything. So off I go to try and get caught up ...
bluecastle: (Default)

I grew up in an imaginary world. I made it myself, although I doubt I was aware of it at the time.

See, I was working on an art journal page last night with the prompt “pretend” and I wrote down “’let’s play pretend’ were the three most magical words of my childhood.” I hadn’t even really thought about that before.

In literary terms I read and re-read and re-a-zillion-times-over read Alcott, and Wilder, and Spyri (for a bit of foreign flair?!). 

I am comfortable in gingham, in petticoats, in aprons, and bonnets. Hell, I’d rock a dirndl if I had one!

But where does that leave me in the modern world?

You know that scene in Pride and Prejudice where Mr. Collins rushes up to Mr. Darcy to introduce himself and witter on in that gauche way?  I totally understand that look Mr. Darcy gives him because OMG WHO IS THIS PERSON ADDRESSING HIM WHOM HE HAS NEVER BEEN INTRODUCED TO!!!

I wish I knew why this moment resonates so deeply. I wish I understood how I’ve absorbed such weird outlooks about interpersonal relationships.

I spent so much time in these worlds where there were rules (for good or for ill) as I was growing up. But I live in a world without them, and I think its part of the reason I often feel so lost.

Yeah. I don’t know what all this means, exactly, just mulling over some thoughts in my head.


bluecastle: (Default)
I am usually pretty clued in to where my brain weirdnesses come from. But I keep having these bad dreams wherein someone comes into my house and attacks me and I am unable to fight back.

I am not sure where this is coming from. If I was feeling especially insecure about something I would understand it. But it seems to be coming out of nowhere. Meanwhile I spend a lot of time watching infomericals in the middle of the night trying to take my mind off of the scary. Y'know, after I've tripled checked all the door locks and looked in all the closets to make sure no one's hiding in them. And considered re-considering my dad's offer of a handgun... !!! Ah dreams.

Another stupid headache Saturday, but then Sunday I GOT STUFF DONE. Huzzah.

Back at work now, but am getting nothing done but wade through a weekend's worth of email, and blog postings, and trying to get caught up. Which is how most monday's go, but since I am dragging myself around through the residual daylight savings time sludge factor... it's rough going.

Must now go eat soup and figure out what's most pressing...


Mar. 12th, 2010 12:16 pm
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Have just spent ~$2500 of my employers money. Funtiems. (Well, the spending part is fun. But really I just made more work for myself in the end!) LOL.

Am about to go off to the library and pick up a volume of Heinlein short stories. I decided recently that after all the sci-fi that I watch, I really ought to be reading the stuff. Which brought me back to the memory of  this Heinlein book I had been given for Christmas when I was in high school. Really the only thing I remember about it was that some of the stories were set in colonies on the moon. So I ordered something that MIGHT be the thing I remember from my library and I'll give it a go.

Anyone got any suggestions for not to be missed sci-fi books/authors? I can probably guess some of them... but rec's are always appreciated.

Am off tonight to do something with director Cee. She decided that since her residency with the 1st graders didn't allow her to actually get a Spring Break, that she wanted to do something tonight while her hubby is out of town (presumably at some folk gig). I don't know why we can't just make plans, but we had a phone call last night about making phone calls today to figure out what to do. LOL. Dinner, movie, craft night -- who knows. But I love having plans of a Friday.

So off I go to brave the rain for books and food!!


Mar. 11th, 2010 10:58 am
bluecastle: (bookmarks)
Recent internet trawling also turned up another graphic novel memoir ... Stitches by David Small. It arrived from amazon yesterday and I ate it up all in one gulp. Even at 325 pages it's a fast read. BUT. I know I did little more than just skim it, and it's the kind of thing that I will come back to over and over and over again. It's spare, lasering in on very specific childhood horrors... but so visceral. There's a lot of screaming encased in these pages.

In a weird way it might be the perfect springboard for the dark_fest thing I'm trying to write.

In other randomness, I missed the White Collar season finale as I was out laughing at sparkly vampires ... but I LOATHE cliffhangers, and I hear we got one. Should I bother to seek it out, knowing it might annoy me muchly, or do I just wait until they ramp up again for season two and catch it then? Thoughts?

I keep seeing, in various places, mention of this: [ profile] letiantorest and every time I have seen it I have misread it as Letian Forest. Anyone need to name a forest? LOL. It's yours.

Having lunch today (at Taco Bell. Goodbye diet) with my last remaining (more or less) friend from high school. We've got a weird dynamic going on. Increasingly we have just nothing in common, but we've been friends for so long I don't think either of us wants to stop being friends. I don't know. It's just weird. We get along fine as long as the only thing we talk about is how much work sucks.

OK, speaking of work, it's time to get back this film about Rwandan genocide...
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Just returned from the library which I work FOR but not AT to hear about the upcoming renovations to the whole first floor. Exciting times coming up and it makes me wish I was in public service and not a behind the scenes paperwork monkey. The short/medium term goal is to get back to working AT the library sometime, so we'll have to see how that goes.

I'm here, and not in my car on the way home as the bosses were also at the same presentation, so I had to stop back at the office and make a show of returning to work... but I'm about to run off home and try and get ahead of the squalling snow. I don't need a repeat of the last panic-attack inducing trip home that I had as a result of the last snowstorm.

Over lunch -- a trip back to the school lunch line menu of chicken soup and a peanut butter sandwich -- I started reading a book I downloaded from Gutenberg ... "Ashton-Kirk, Investigator" from 1910. It's sort of a mash up of Sherlock Holmes and Lord Peter Wimsey. So, obviously, delightful.

I mean, Chapter 3 begins:

"When Ashton-Kirk returned that evening from the theatre, where he had gone to witness a much heralded new drama, he sat with a cigar, in his library; and stretching out his length in great comfort, he smoked and smiled and thought of what he had seen and heard."

There's a German butler named Stumph ... and additionally Ashton-Kirk apparently employs someone upon the lines of a secretary -- described in the last chapter as "a brisk, boyish looking young man" called Fuller.

There's a mysterious numismatist, a baffled fiancee Edyth Vale ... and a sidekick called Jimmie Pendleton (oh god of course there is).

I love these light novels and books for children from the ninteen tens and teens ... I just feel at home there somehow.

OK, both the bosses have left, and so I will depart for colder climes. (See how the language rubs off?!)

lost girl

Feb. 23rd, 2010 11:42 am
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So it's Tuesday is it? Couldn't prove it by me.

Yesterday started off okay, with only a bit of a headache and the poetry competition to help out with. The six girls competing were very sweet, very nervous, and very different. But by the middle of the second round (of three) I was feeling distinctly unwell. I had to stick it out though as I was prompting (only one of them needed help) and keeping things running on schedule.

But as soon as I got the state chairperson up to introduce the guest poet, I was out of there.

By the time I got home I was very very sick. Went to bed around noon, and didn't emerge until about 8 pm. At that, food wasn't even a good idea until about 10:30 when I had some toast and cereal (pretty much the only food in the house this last week before payday).

I hate losing whole days like that. I still don't know who won the competition.

Plus, It's a hell of a way to lose almost 5 pounds in a day.

So I'm super behind, haven't read anything much the last couple of days, or even been out there on the internets. At this point I don't know that I'll ever catch up!!

I have been mulling over my as yet to be written Vengeful Ianto story. Still debating at what point to make it AU.

But now back to the real world, and trying to spend my employer's money...
bluecastle: (what are you DOING?)
So tearing myself away from the odd juxtaposition of cleft palates and suffragettes that is my morning's work... I keep being distracted by a great little time waster.


I was looking for sticky notes for my igoogle thing ... and there she was.

I have named her Matilda after Judy Dench's character in "Cranford."

20 odd years ago the gay bff and his bff gifted me with two albino hamsters for Christmas -- named Mame and Vera (go ahead and laugh. you know you want to). They were cute, but they kept me up all damn night chewing through their plastic cage...

Matilda is very neat and tidy (and quiet) and since I have, just this morning, discovered I can feed her by clicking on the cage she will now be happy to run around for my amusement until I tire of her and send her back to hamster heaven.

Welcome to Procrastination U.

and now back to those dvds about do-gooders...
bluecastle: (Default)
So I'm back to being curled up on the sofa with my cat.

Went and did dishes to feel somewhat productive.

This morning was taken up with shoveling out the front of my house... and then landlord Dad came over with his snowblower and cleared my driveway. I gave him a hand with some of it, as the foot + of snow was heavy. He got his truck stuck in the driveway actually before we cleared out enought snow around the wheels to get some traction.

Have a zillion things I could or should be doing, but somewhat uninspired by all of them. I hate that I spend so much of my time dithering around moaning about my lack of direction. Gah. Maybe if I put "get life" on my to do list? :)

Have spent most of the day in between digging out from the snow curled up on the sofa reading my flist and watching America' s Next Top Model.

Keep hearing delicious hints about the upcoming roll out of the Virtual Season. Side benefit to not being chosen to help out with it is the ability to read read read what I'm sure will be wonderful offerings.

Off now to decide what to watch first... the cricket film with Delroy Lindo... Cranford with every great British actress ever... or some thriller with Patrick Stewart. Netflix has been good to me this week!!!


Feb. 4th, 2010 01:44 pm
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So. I see I haven’t posted anything much for a while now. I guess I’m in that bi-monthly slump of “how can I have anything interesting to write about when I’m so damn boring” …

Into every life some nullspace must fall.

I keep having ideas for things to write about … some fanfic … some original fic … but I find that I can’t figure out how to turn the idea into anything solid.

I am still mulling over the TW as Regency fic. Gwen is being problematic, as I have challenged myself to “retell” Everything Changes set during the Regency era… and independent females with jobs (in law enforcement no less), and living with their boyfriends presents me with some challenges. I am trying to keep all of the interpersonal dynamics the same… so it’s a bit of a puzzler. It’s good brain exercise for car rides and falling asleep tho.

Trying to set up getting the pals together to watch GDL’s Watson-fest sometime … the pals all say they have to ask their cats if they’re allowed out! And thanks to youz guys… I put Shark Attack 3 on my Netflix Queue. OMG.

OK… should get back to large mounds of work work on my desk. Really I just want to go home and take a nap.

bluecastle: (Default)
okay, so it's just after nine in the morning here and for more or less the last twenty-four hours I've been lying in my bed writhing in pain from certainly one of the top five worst migraines I've ever had. Where the hell did that come from? Ugh. You know it's bad when you only get out of bed in order to throw up some more...

Blech. I'm not sure how much of that time was spent asleep and how much of it was spent in some pain induced dream state. Dunno. There aren't words.


By about 3 a.m. I woke up blessedly pain got some decent sleep. I still really haven't had much to eat ... and nothing at all yesterday... but I will go and have some cereal here in a bit. I'm oddly not starving, despite the lack of food.

And my sweet sweet kitty Daniel has stayed by my side the whole time. I would wake up from time to time to find him sitting next to me looking worried, but most of the time he was just curled up next to me. So nice to have some company while I felt so miserable.

But let's put the pain behind us... today is going to be a GREAT day.

My pals that I did the Christmas show with are all getting together at Director Cee's house to watch Firefly episodes and have a party in our jammies!! We're bringing food, and we're having a book swap ... and I just think it will so much fun to just hang out and munch on food  -- frozen planet on a stick is rumored to be featured -- and drink and watch tv...

Okay, so if I missed anything important yesterday let me know!!! It's time for some Cherrios now!!
bluecastle: (Default)
I keep trying to think of things to say, but can't ever settle on anything concrete. I feel rather the way my cat felt this morning when I woke up and looked at him sitting on the bed next to me, and he very clearly said, "meh." That at least made me laugh.

I should ache more than I do after that five mile Wii bike ride last night on top of my usual 28 minute workout.

Mostly I've been spending the week downloading Being Human series one from iTunes. I think I'm up through episode three viewing wise. The lack of a smooth story arc is somehow simultaneously interesting and freaking frustrating. But super intriguing characters that make me want more backstory. Frankly, anybody who lives in a pink house is always going to be interesting to me!!

Am off tomorrow to see Avatar with some friends. i do not know whether 2 or 3D ...

And then details are being worked out for a Firefly fest perhaps the following weekend. I wrote "Jaynesday" on the calendar in pencil. We'll see if it ever materializes!!

I love my geeky friends.

And so, to work... or to try to work here of a Friday...
bluecastle: (ianto clipboard)
So here's the thing... my real life friends decided we weren't exchanging gifts this year... which yay for not having to shop and all that ... but where's the fun in that? :D

So... my TW peeps holiday card recipients are getting something extra in their envelopes.

In fact, I just got back from the postoffice where I sent out the foreign lands packages. So [ profile] cruentum , [ profile] verasteine , [ profile] electro_club , [ profile] curriejean , and [ profile] phaetonschariot  ... be on the lookout for some lumpy packages that are now on their way to you. You've all got the same things in your envies... so no spoilers!! (Befuddled the post office guy a bit when he saw Brazil spelled Brasil. LOL)

The US contingent will get their packages pretty soon ... depending on whether the snow lets me get back to the post office tomorrow, or if I have to wait until monday...


On the other side of the coin, I got a wonderful card full of cavorting koalas ... and containing some Jack/Doctor's hand fic that I LOVE!! from [ profile] misswinterhill . I didn't have your addy J ... so I'll stick something in the post in the near future :D Karaoke Koalas FTW!!!

Off to eat lunch and get ready for caramel party tonight!!!
bluecastle: (Default)
1. cold is really kicking my ass today. did not get a particularly good night's sleep what with snuffly head draining and making my throat scratchy, and my cat being particularly annoying. his new trick is to sit on the window sill at the foot of my bed and bang on the window blinds until I wake up and then he pounces on me. so... would much rather have spent the day at home in bed, or whatever, but I have stuff to do here ... and only six more working days left this year to get it done in.

2. got my first TW peep's holiday card yesterday from [ profile] amand_r so YAYS and LOLs abound!!! post-its are love <3

3. which maybe prompted me to start crafting my own set of cards which I had hoped would have gone out long before now, but hey... RL happens. Also some little goodies I want to include have not arrived yet ;0)

4. have accepted an invitation to a caramel wrapping party on friday. rumor had it there may even be vegan caramels. will suss out for anyone interested... so there may be recipes forthcoming. also rumored... DW videos. HUZZAH! and bonus... CARAMELS!!!

5. must find some time to bang out Yuletide story this week. It's for a fandom I've never tried writing anything in... but have read everything (or nearly so) a zillion times so it shouldn't be TOO hard. RIGHT? *iz afraid*

6. super excited that my latest online class went live this morning. have been sneaking in videos as I can here at work. scrappy journals made out of fabric and odd bits of paper all sewn together. Oh My Goodness it's going to be such fun to make these. I have a whole stash of stuff from a craft swap from a million years ago that ought to come in handy. There is something about the combination of paper and fabric that just makes my heart go all fluttery. It's at least half of why I like to scrapbook. And really, what's not to love about scrappy journals made out of odd bits of paper and those security envelopes they send you to pay bills with!!!!!!!

7. need stocking stuffer ideas? I read a post this morning that had good ideas... hit the grocery store!!!
bluecastle: (tendoctorglasses)
whew, time is expanding. thanks be to the powers of the great universal TARDIS.

due some some impending nasty weather, we've canceled our rehearsal for tonight (under pain of death on learning lines) so I will have time to finish my reel_tw fic.

and of course if the impending weather nasties stay nasty... tomorrow might be clocked up by me as a "snow" day. my mother freaks out over precipitation, so it's usually just easier to take the day off than listen to her call me every hour wanting to know if/when I'm coming home.

so, a tiny bit of breathing room. just a bit, but it's very welcome!!


bluecastle: (Default)

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