please, have a nice slice of cheese with this...

[bluecastle]

OK, it seems sort of stupid to post about why I've not been posting that much ... but well that's the kind of stupid I am right now. Like those people who telephone you to tell you they can't talk right now...!!!

I've lost my writing mojo ... have been seriously all 'woe is me' for no fucking reason -- other than hormones, Mercury being in retrograde, and me being, well, me.

Been super busy and super stressed, and that always chips away at my defenses and makes me get all crazy in the head thinking no one loves me.

Le sigh.  But.

I would like some real life friends who are not SO wrapped up in their own stupid lives that they never have any time to spend with me. That would be nice.

Am trying very hard not be all whiney about my current mental state. I do not want to be that kind of person who's name popping up on your screen produces eye rolling and running in the other direction due to sheer numbing wankyness.

I'm just saying ... friends are not a whole lot of use when they won't ever talk to you.

So. that's vented. Now I am going back to bleaching the grout around my bathtub. It's a happenin' night here in the little house...

Comments

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

I am all out of wine! I don't have advice cuz frankly, I haven't any friends. Sigh. Not here anyway--big city, always lived here, the spouse discouraged making friends, spouse gone, all friends I have are far far away, and Nick is far far far far FAR away. It sucks. I talk to the dogs alot...and my daughter just popped in here to tell me all the latest in her life.

Am trying to get back to the writing though, and spending time today with my friend Anthony who zoomed through here on business has really helped. FOCUS! That's my main thing to, well, focus on. Focusing. LOL.

What you writing?

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

well, I can relate, I think, a little anyway. I have a couple long time friends, but I never see them as they have their own lives and I am simply peripheral. the invisible best friend did admit when I saw him briefly after the show last night that he misses me. good to know. mostly he just tells me how much it sucks that he can't spend any time with his work colleagues (including his ex gf).

Whatever.

Am not writing anything, which sucks. Can't find my way back to TW of late, and the original thing I have in my head is frustrating because I have a few characters and a place, but no real plot (I suck at plot).

Would like to think I could take on NaNo and get words out, but I am not good with that kind of committment, and isnt' the daily word count thing like HUGE? 100 words a day is a good day for me...

hang in there pal o' mine. I had a good cry (which always scares my cat) and some ice cream and things are looking much rosier...

hugs bb.