bluecastle: (mary janes)
[personal profile] bluecastle
Long time no post. Bad Valancy. But hey, work's been super crazy for most of this year and I've been sick pretty much for the last month... but I'm feeling more rested and have had a pumpkin spiced latte so here I am.

I'm in the middle of a course on Surrendering. Yeah I haven't figured out what that means yet either. Not exactly. But I'm finding out how much I do NOT LIKE NOT KNOWING. But Friday's task was to get quiet and listen to myself. So I set myself a little challenge. I feel like I missed all the pretty parts of Fall being sick for so many weeks. Plus it just wasn't that great a year for fall leaf pretty, but anyway ... I started thinking about how much I love water, and how I long to get to a beach SOON and well there's this state park about 20 minute away. And. A million years ago a few of us went on a walk and we ended up at this awesome bridge. And there's a beach at the park along the fake lake (created by the dam).

So ... I got up and without telling anyone I set off into the "wilds" (yeah there were campers pretty much all over the place so while I didn't see a lot of people it wasn't like it was totally deserted either. And with only a couple missed paths (I even stopped to pick up a map. geesh! :) I found my bridge without too much trouble. And aside from the couple of people in the parking lot WAY across the water, and the one family who showed up eventually I had maybe half an hour all by myself on that bridge to look out over the water and ponder life. And snap some pictures. I even got a few self portraits I am pretty happy with despite the WIND and the accompanying blotchiness! Exhibit A:

moi

Very me. And I almost never look at a picture of me and think "hey, that's me!"

I have a LOT more journaling I have to do surrounding Surrender ... but standing on that bridge dropping bright leaves into the water and watching them float away is very meditative.

Then I went and stood on the beach for about 2 1/2 minutes because of the gale force winds coming off the water! LOL

But remind me to go back more often, okay?

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January 2015

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