Nov. 14th, 2010

bluecastle: (Default)
Through a confluence of crap mood, NaNo eating my soul, and spending all day yesterday watching a America's Next Top Model marathon I have rather fallen off the planet.

Just had a quick troll over my flists actual journals but skipped over the comm stuff to try and save my sanity.

So if you've got fic you think I should see, best drop me a comment. I want to read stuff, I am just not sane enough to go wading through ALL THE THINGS to get to the GOOD THINGS...

My house is a pig sty, nearly ALL my dishes are dirty, and a resident mouse came out last night to move the dirty silverware around and laugh at me.

Very demoralizing weekend. I had been hanging onto a slim hope that I might actually be able to churn out 50K during this NaNo month. And I've been trying to push myself all week to get 2K a day. But then all my muscles seized up and my brain shut down, and well... I am at something around 18K which is pretty good on the whole, but I was shooting for 22K by today. This is what happens when I try and force myself to write. I seize up. I sit here with my fingers on the keyboard, and sometimes I can't even force myself to look at the screen. My eyes slip shut and I find myself channeling my inner autistic child or something and very rarely when I get to that point can I push past it and actually write anything.

Pressure, it is not my friend. But this is about the point that I gave up last year, and I would rather not just give up. I do that far too often it seems.

Dunno. Not helping my mood, all in all, but will try and keep on keeping on.

This entry was originally posted at http://valancy-joy.dreamwidth.org/135381.html

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