bluecastle | (no subject)

Super tired here this afternoon.

Brain is all snarled up.

Which seems unfair since I went to bed really early last night. But there's that old "no good deed goes unpunished" saw, right?

You ever have one of those dreams .... or wake up from a really bad dream ... in my case they're usually about something I really really need to get away from fast ... explosion, intruder in the house (horrible that one living alone), natural disaster. But because my brain woke up faster than my body (or maybe I'm only dreaming this, it's so hard to tell in that liminal state) I can see the BAD THING coming at me, but I can't make my body work. And so I struggle and struggle, and eventually wake up and can move, but by then I'm freaked right the fuck out.

(Which is why I also can't watch scary movies/tv shows where THE BAD GUY uses one of those sedatives where you are awake and can see everything, you just can't move (CRIMINAL MINDS CREEPY HUMAN DOLL EPISODE I'M LOOKING AT YOU).

Yeah, so that happened, and so I was up and on the couch from around 1 to 2 a.m. in an adreneline buzz trying to remember how that breathing thing works again.

After the stress of driving home from nasty snow ... all in all it was more stress than I should have had to have in one day/night/day/whatever.

So now I just want to go home. But guess what, we're getting more fucking snow. Please can it wait until after I get through the drive home tonight. I don't want to have to white knuckle, actively work to keep myself from hyperventilating while driving two nights in a row.

Yeah, I'm going to go and stare at pictures of Tom Hardy and hope quitting time comes soon, and that snow doesn't. yeah.