words

[bluecastle]

Once, a long time ago, I was very depressed. The can't summon the energy to get out of bed, and probably should have been under someone's care for it kind of depressed.

I don't have a lot of memories of that time period. I was just lost in a wasteland for a while, but eventually stumbled out of the forest, more by accident than by any real effort on my part it seems to me now.

I only bring this up because I am having a bad couple of days and I read something this morning that crystalized why that's OK. See, the thing is, it will never be that bad for me again. (I hope.) Because I know something now, that I didn't know then -- the words that are uppermost in my mind today --

THIS IS NOT FOREVER.

What that bad spell taught me is that there is life outside the wasteland, and even though I might wander through some dark and twisty woodlands from time to time, if you follow the streams downhill, you WILL find civilization again. (have I stretched that metaphor until it snapped or what?!)

Anyway... this is apropos of nothing except the need to put those words out into the ether. What is now, is not forever.

Comments

[lawsontl.livejournal.com]

It is so empowering when you have that realization. I was terrified, after two bouts of heavy depression, whenever I felt myself getting depressed again. I was convinced that every blue mood would turn into a months long slog, and that - the next time - it would never end. But it does end, you do come out of it, and you learn each time how to better manage the next one.

I think we should get tattoos that say something along those lines... :)

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

hell yeah. I don't know what that tattoo would look like, but it would a great thing :)

it's all about planting handholds along the edge of the pit so that even if you slip you do not fall.

<3

[verasteine.livejournal.com]

Yes, and I'm happy for you that you're there, at that point. Good for you, hon!

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

thanks :}

btw... a friend just "met" Eleven yesterday and she deluged me with texts about how in love she is now!! LOL.

and Merlin continues to be adorable... so much fun stuff!!

[verasteine.livejournal.com]

Eleven is awesomesauce and the world will acknowledge it.

Also, you´re in Merlin fandom! I´m ecstatic :).

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

yeah, I haven't gone hunting for Merlin fic (tho I probably should) just read what pops up on my flist...

it's easy to see why people can slash arthur/merlin, but as I was watching season one (all in one day :) I realized that you can conceivably pair him with ANYONE (well, maybe not Uther, at least not as equals). (I will award bonus points for Merlin/Lancelot tho :0)

and Arthur is that guy who's a jerk 95% of the time, but the other 5% sort of makes up for it.

so yeah, I'm enjoying my time in Camelot.